
They certainly require the most maintenance of all the plants I’ve ever grown, trying as I do to avoid high-maintenance plants altogether.
Hardy Kiwi
But let me make my case. On the left in this photo the bright green foliage is just a hint of the vigor to come from three hardy kiwis that I struggle to keep from eating my house. Over the course of the summer I’ll fill 8 to 10 full-size trash cans with the trimmings, and that’s a lot of trimming. No wonder the standard advice is to prune it back HARD in early spring - which I don’t do because I’d have to retrain it to where I want it every year. After eight years it began producing flowers, but so far, no fruits have appeared. Yes, I supposedly have at least one male and one female - if tags are to be believed - so I still have hope after 12 years growing the stuff. It’s the most commented-on plant in my garden, hands down.
English ivy
And what’s that ugly brown stuff on the trellis but good old (ugh) English ivy, the ground cover/climber that blankets the land in large parts of my county, including the wooded valley my garden is part of. Seeking to cover the crappy metal wall of my tool shed, the walls with the ever-peeling paint no matter how what type is used, I added a trellis and trained some of my existing ivy up it. You know how mistakes can look fine the first season and bite your ass the second? That’s the story of this mistake, and now the vines have covered the window and are quickly covering the roof, too, and there’s no way to trim it coz it’s out of reach.
So last fall I removed what I could reach and just let the unreachable parts die over the winter - but LOOK at it! Now I’ll be seeing those dead leaves all season, at least. When I did the same cut-and-let-die trick on the ivy covering my trees it took at least a year for the stuff to fall off. Though finally there was a pay-off when birds made good use of the dead stems for their nests. So, a happy ending, I guess.
Crossvine/bignonia
Now look above the tool shed over to my neighbors’ trellis and you see a vine I’ve been coveting for its huge orange tubular flowers, its green leaves all winter, and the fact that it’s native. (It’s always nice to find another native that does well in the garden to add to the great sustainable nonnatives I’ve collected over the decades.) I’ve already bought one, in fact, and it’s now at the base of the trellis, getting settled in its new home. But I’m leery of even this seemingly perfect vine. Will it, too, become a headache, a chore, an unruly mess? You know, like the trumpet vine I just bought - also a native - is predicted to become?
But enough of my plant rant. What’s YOUR most demanding plant or plant group?